Two movies today, sort of. When I got home I caught the last half of Beetlejuice, which I haven't seen in forever. This is proof that Tim Burton was good once. It didn't hold up very well, but I still love it.
To make up for that, I decided to watch ThanksKilling. It's only 66 minutes long, and I went from thinking it would be a campy B-movie, to a weird comedy/horror hybrid, to a student movie that was supposed to be a comedy from the start. I took some notes while it played, and they eventually degraded into angry rants at the characters. So instead of impressions, I have those to show you. Hopefully they're enough to make you watch it, because it's actually a pretty fun movie. It's about a murderous, filthy turkey, how could it not be entertaining.
-Woah, that's a boob
-That pilgrim woman is missing a lot of her shirt. Mostly the chest area
-So far, everything a horror movie needs to be. Tits and murder
-Okay, so that was a JonBenet Ramsey joke "Her legs are harder to close than the JonBenet Ramsey case"
-Sort of cool animation sequence
-Turkeys see in purple
-Bestiality leads to grand theft auto
-This feels like a student's final project that somehow got to Netflix
-Same joke about jonbenet ramsey case and slutty girl's legs, apparently unintentional, everyone reacted the exact same way as the first time she told it
-Reaction to parents being murdered surprisingly mild
-More bestiality, "You just got stuffed!"
-More sex scenes with the turkey than with the people
-Yes, we must stop the cock blocking turkey
-OH MY GOD THESE PEOPLE ARE RETARDED IT'S A FUCKING TURKEY WITH GAG GLASSES NOT A MIDGET.
-IT'S NOT YOUR DAD EITHER KRISTEN, WHAT THE SHIT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
-This has to be a comedy. It just has to be.
-I don't know Billy, you were just eating french fries for that whole montage.
-"Gobble gobble, motherfucker."
-Seriously, student movie. Billy's whole death sequence is way too goofy.
-Why is the turkey making a salad.
-Hermit shoots him into a dumpster full of radioactive waste, another fifteen minutes of runtime confirmed
-"I may have lost my parents, but I gained a girlfriend."
-OH I GET IT YOU JOKED ABOUT THINGS ONLY HAPPENING IN MOVIES
-Oh, the hermit also did the title music. How about that.
I'd say it's worth the hour it takes to watch. Really, really stupid, but very fun. Back tomorrow with legitimate movies!